(no subject)

[jademermaid]

Just read an article about myself where I described myself as “chubby” and I think that it is a fairly unacceptable description, and I want to apologize to myself for saying it, because that is just wrong. I am not chubby – and to call myself that is to endanger the lives of millions of young girls who look to the media to define who they are, who are constantly checking themselves for fear of wrecking themselves, who are afraid to be thought of as “chubby,” who don’t realize that they are perfect as they are, and it is irresponsible. I fear they will read this article and look at my body and be scared because it is like theirs, and they will then think of themselves as “chubby” and learn to hate themselves more. To call me “chubby” is to call a billion women “chubby” who shouldn’t think of themselves as anything less than hot and sexy and curvy and built. I am not “chubby.” I am a real live perfectly beautiful woman, and just because I may be larger than the mostly anorexic female population in Hollywood, it doesn’t make me any less desirable or gorgeous because I like food. I take it back, as I must take back all the millions of insults that I hurl at myself without knowing it. I would never, ever say any of the horrible things I say to myself about myself to anyone else, not even someone I hated, because there is no one I could possibly hate that much. We must stop fighting the war against ourselves before we can truly start to love ourselves. We are not “chubby,” we are perfect. We are beautiful. We are so very very beautiful.

--Margaret Cho

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I wish I'd written this. I wish I really, really were able to apologize to myself for all the bad things I call myself sometimes. I really do love who I am, despite what I say sometimes. I use the word chubby quite a bit, it seems nicer than fat, but really, it's not so nice. It's okay for babies and penises, but not for women. So Ms. Cho, I am also going to stop using that word to describe me. I'm just not sure if I should search for another word (thick? no, that's just as bad, makes me think of burgers. Mmmm, burgers!) Maybe I should just not define my size with words, maybe I should just make curvy hand motions.

Comments

[arovd.livejournal.com]

I've been re-learning to use 'fat' as a descriptor rather than an insult. sort of like gay.

[myrrhdusa.livejournal.com]

i like the idea, I'm not sure I can do it though. When I feel poofy and say my belly is fat, I'm lighthearted about it, but I think I'm taking the blow inside.

[arovd.livejournal.com]

yeah it's not easy. and i think i'd still be pretty hurt if someone else called me fat. :/