Cryptic post, sorry.

[jademermaid]

Sometimes I feel like I am very focused, really moving forward and making things happen. Then I look around and I see that the people that I thought were engaged, towing the line with me, whatever--really aren't, and I'm the only one standing there. I'm really okay with that, I don't mind working alone, it's just that I always assume the people around me are as gun-ho about things as I am, and then I'm terribly disappointed. I'm not angry, it's just something I have to deal with, and I will. But I have to learn not to get so excited about things, because chances are that everyone else just isn't.

So, from here on out I'm moving forward with my ideas and if people want to join me, that's fine. But I'm losing faith in the idea of community, the tribal ideals, and dreaming too big.

Right now I'm at the point where I want to tell everyone to fuck off, but I'm trying to hang on.