who looks up to see if it's raining and then drowns.
I hope that his private journal accomplishes it's task. What follows is my opinion and nothing more.
The whole thing keeps going back to the statement I made in the first place--He shouldn't be doing anything while he's away that he wouldn't do in front of his wife. Men are simple, and sometimes they do stupid things, it is a woman's place to keep him in line (at least in my world). This doesn't mean that I think men can't control themselves, because they can, they just need a reason to do so that overpowers their need to satisfy their own urges. No, she isn't blameless, far from it, but he is the one that did the hurting. Kudos to him for standing up and claiming his mistake, and for working things out with his wife, it is the harder thing to do. And if people don't like me talking about it, that's just too damn bad, because this thing has become a stain on mine and everyone's doorstep. I'm not going to pretend it ain't there.
None of the particulars mean a fig to me personally though. What does matter is all the vile accusations and whispering between aquaintances, sisters and friends, but the longer it goes on, the less likely I fear it will be to ever have some sort of peace. I keep seeing two lines of people, one on each side of a ravine, and rocks being pelted across the divide. I am standing on one side, but I refuse to throw rocks at the other. All of this has become much larger than the seed of the problem, and much more distressing.
The facts are this--none of the people on either side are vile or rotten folks. By the same token, none of us are perfect or righteous enough to pretend they are not interested in the fallout or the gossip. Human nature, I suppose. You think you are different? You are kidding yourself. I'm telling you, yes you, that you are just as nosey as I am, and want to know what all the fuss is about. And either you want to stand up and say something to bring attention to it, or you want to lament at the poor state of affairs and hope things will work out one way or the other. I consider myself in the latter category, but I do admit to gossiping about this situation with my sisters and thereby causing it to escalate. I'm not proud of it, but as men are weak with controlling their bodies, women are sometimes weak with controlling their mouths.
Apologies don't mean shit when the whispering goes on, and I truly believe that a good hashing out is the way to go--I wasn't kidding about the mud wrestling. Yet people are stubborn, narrow-minded and unable to look at it from the mountain. Perhaps it is the nature of humans to form groups, prosper and war, to form new groups and begin again, like some sort of demented grade school science experiment. I'm not naive enough to think that everyone can be great friends in any group, but I don't think that everyone has to be hateful either. People that are meant to be great friends will become so, and aquaintances are to be just that. It's called tolerance. I don't have to agree with your views to accept you and be able to appreciate you for who you are. Try it if you dare, it only hurts the first time.
So sayeth the porch lady.
*rocking chair creaking*