jademermaid: (Wicked)
I don't get to do as much cooking as I used to, but when I do I try to make it special. On New Year's I have been making spinakopita triangles, which Corey loves, so I will be making those later on. Corey made a bit more smoked salmon than we could eat, and even though it keeps well I want to use it up today so I am making it into burgers using my recent secret ingredient-breadcrumbs made from croissants. You must try this! The burgers are cooking right now and the smell is OMG amazing! We make salmon burgers often, but I think these smoked ones will be amazing!

This morning I've been thinking about family. It's kind of hard sometimes for me, because I've chosen to be on my own and without family for so long, but now that I am older I yearn for it on special occasions. I usually hang out with friends and that's great--I have the best friends in the world. And maybe I'm looking for something that just doesn't exist; some fantasy family unit that is always supportive and present when I want them to be, and minding their own business the rest of the time! But every year I say I'm going to contact the members of my long lost family through Christmas cards, and then I don't. Maybe I'm afraid of them ignoring me as I've ignored them for so long? Maybe I'm just not sure I want to open those doors and find out that they are nothing like me--I mean I don't expect them to be dreadlocked hippies, but if they are all super conservative homophobic bigots ( and they very well may be), then where do I go from there? Then I'm stuck in the same boat with a lot of people I know, who put up with things their family says because they are family and the don't want to make waves.

Of course I have family members that I do keep contact with, but they live far from me so I don't get to really visit with them, other than online. My mom, of course, who stops in to read my journal and takes the time and trouble to visit us from time to time. The whole reason I'm even on Livejournal is because of my cousin Howard, and I keep in email contact with JoAnne, my half sister, and up until a few years ago, I kept up with Rosemary, my other half sister, but when she OD'd, she lost a lot of memory and I'm not sure if she feels comfortable around me anymore.

I'm not really sure what I long for. It's like I want tradition, I come up with new ones all the time! But at the same time, I want to be free to change the rules whenever I like. Like today. Smoked salmon burgers on New Year's Day. I just enjoyed one on a mini pita with lettuce, tomato and dilled cream cheese. Awesome.

Fuck tradition!

Smoked Salmon burger recipe. )
jademermaid: (Mermaid thinking)
Every year I make Black eyed peas on New Years, a tradition I picked up when I lived in Charleston, S.C.

I make them because they are good luck, and I'm the most superstitious person I know. I also make them out of habit, and today I just realized that it all started with my ex-husband, who loved beans and cornbread better than almost any other food, and was a militant hillbilly.

Every year, I am stuck with half a pot of blackeyed peas that don't get eaten. I don't make a small pot of anything, unfortunately. Corey will eat one spoonful on New Year's because I force him, but after that they just sit, because the past couple of years I've noticed that they give me wind something fierce, and he just doesn't like blackeyed peas.

I'm all about starting new traditions, especially if the old ones simply don't work. I hate to waste food. It literally stresses me out. So I'm thinking of finding a new representative for coins and paper money, since so few people I know enjoy Hoppin' John and greens. In Italy, they use lentils on New Year's for good luck. I didn't know about this tradition until I started talking to other Italians online, we didn't have this tradition as a kid.

Corey and I will eat lentils, as well as most people I know.

I could also make my maternal grandmother's spanakopita in place of the greens. Corey will eat those until he passes out from spinach overload.

I think this is a fine idea, and if I forget, someone remind me!

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jademermaid

October 2011

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